COERCIVE CONTROL, CATFISHING, STALKING, IDENTIFY THEFT AND MORE
This page is here for you to learn about this most unusual and complex case, and for you to find help if you're affected by any of the many issues it raises about our laws, policing, victim blaming culture, social media companies accountability, and cultural taboos.
About Kirat's case
Harkirat Kaur Assi, known to many as Kirat, is a successful marketer and local radio presenter, with a profile in her community and networks.
However, since 2009, she had been carefully and strategically targeted over a period of time by her own cousin who she treated as a younger sister. The manipulation takes place online and in the real world involving over 50 characters, some of whom she knew of through friends and family in the real world.
The manipulation involved, coercive control, catfishing, identity theft, and other forms of abuse and harassment. It was sophisticated, complex and of epic proportions, hard to understand or believe, and therefore Kirat found herself effectively silenced when even the police did not know how to respond. Now, following the settlement of a civil case and the receipt of an official private apology, Kirat is now trying to rebuild her life after it was systematically torn apart.
Listen to details of the case...
A podcast chart topping podcast, “Sweet Bobby” by investigative journalist Alexi Mostrous at Tortoise Media is a six-part series, sensitively exploring an unravelling what Kirat went through and what's happening now as a live investigation that is still unfolding. It's needed, it's difficult to get your head around otherwise or believe something so cruel and complex was even possible.
You can listen here in advance as each episode is released or on any podcast platform.
Useful Resources If You've Been Affected
Kirat has learned that many people even she knows have been victims of similar abuses but have been afraid to speak up or resigned to no action being taken. If you have been affected by any of the issues raised by this case, you may find some of the following organisations and resources helpful:
The Cyber Helpline has a dedicated page relating to catfishing. If you think you might be at risk, there are tips for recognising a scam and also suggestions for how to deal with it.
The Suzie Lamplugh Trust has set up a National Stalking helpline on 0808 802 0300 and their pages share advice and further resources.
If you have been a victim of catfishing and need emotional support, then you can call the Samaritans. Their free phone line is available 24 hours a day. You can also call Victim Support or Victim Support Scotland.
Rise has detailed information about what digital abuse might involve and what to do if you think you are at risk.
You can find information about online domestic abuse and tips to stay safe on the Women’s Aid website. You can also use their Live Chat function, speak with other survivors on their forum, or send an email to a support worker.
You can also call Refuge’s Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327 for specialist support.
If you are worried about the safety of yourself or a loved one you can contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline. It’s free and available 24 hours a day.
The Sharan Project is a national registered charity supporting South Asian women who have been or are at risk of being disowned due to abuse or persecution: to include forced marriage, honour abuse, domestic abuse, dowry conflict and other forms of harmful practices. To make a referral or self-refer call 0300 103 3231 or email info@sharan.org.uk
The Employers Domestic Abuse Covenant (EDAC) is a pledge by businesses to support women affected by abuse to enter or re-enter the workplace. The Covenant is designed to provide positive, long term and sustainable employability solutions towards greater economic freedom. To make a referral or self- refer click here.
The Mankind Initiative helps men escape domestic abuse and further support and resources can be found on their site. Their helpline number is 01823 334244.
Yair Cohen is the UK's first internet lawyer, specialising in internet and social media law, and successfully took on Kirat’s case. www.internetlawcentre.co.uk
Many of these contact details refer specifically to the UK, but there will be similar services available wherever you are based.
Should you wish to share any relevant information, or for any media enquiries, please email hello@kiratassi.co.uk
If you believe or suspect that you have been the victim of a crime, then you should always contact the Police on 101. Call 999 if you believe you are in danger.